This is a Texas grackle – a noble bird, for more civilized times. They inhabit the parking lots of Corpus Christi, working hard to scrounge for their food and keep the parking lots clean:
And these are fat, lazy supermarket seagulls – not the proud, respectable seagulls that fly along the beaches and hunt for fish, but rather fat seagulls that sit on the roofs of supermarkets in Texas – on their fat bird-asses – waiting until they see something to eat:
Well, I just didn’t think it was FAIR that the noble grackles work so hard for their food, only to have it violently seized by their fat-assed feathered breathren just before they can eat it.
So . . . I started a DDoS – a Distributed Denial of Seagull Attack – in which I sprinkled some potato chips underneath the shopping carts, where the grackles could easily get to them – but the seagulls were just too big!
As we’d probably say in Texas: that’ll learn them fat-assed gulls, don’t mess with grackles!